valentines day

I had a rough day yesterday. I guess I've been having rough days for awhile now but yesterday was particularly rough. Found myself on the verge of tears much of the day, or just completely spacing out, or bordering on panic. Managed to make it through the work day and to the train station. I've been finding it difficult lately to be on the subway. Too much time to think, no one to talk to, not able to concentrate enough to read, music isn't distracting enough. Got to my station, finally, and was cautiously making my way home through the snow and slush. Saw something odd ahead of me. A man, bent over on the edge of the sidewalk in the snow, taking his shoe off and brushing snow off his sock. I kept walking. You see a lot of strange things in this city and if you stopped to contemplate them all, you'd never get anywhere. Except this particular strange thing called out my name after I passed it by. It was Nate, and I suppose I should have suspected. He recognized me from the back by my bright orange scarf. He asked me to go with him to buy some flowers. We went to Ahn's and bought flowers. Went to Frank's and bought a weird, but tasty, cherry-steeped beer. Pink in colour, appropriate to the day. Nate insisted that I get some sushi for my dinner, and fixed up a plate of apples and carrots when we got home. Started unwrapping the flowers, which I thought odd. Asked for a vase, which I thought odd, but somehow I just figured he was rearranging the two bouquets into one before bringing them to Shanna. But then he said, "Emma, you should put these by your bed so that you can smell the lilies when you wake up." And I just about sobbed with love.