(i'm not obsessed with) the darker mind: black lace wrap with pewter beads

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Posted at Etsy

0rangey said...: This is gorgeous, and I wish I could afford your shawls. Maybe I'll have to learn to crochet.

I'm commenting out of order, sorry! Just saw your note. No, I'm not in therapy, though I have been before. I've never really found a therapist with whom I have/had good chemistry, though I've found some friends who are sometimes as effective as therapists.

Upon reflection I guess I did sound really sad, and I guess I was a little sad, but it was more a writing of reflection (there I go again with the redundancy, but I choose to ignore this) than of raw emotion. I have often felt, this past year, that I am emotionally healthier than I have ever been, or than I have been since I was very small. It can be hard to tell, though, as (as I said) my depression has a history of hiding itself from me. Sometimes other people notice before I do. Even so, I have made enormous progress--and without therapists. I guess that's a point of maybe-slightly-masochistic pride, but also I'm cheap/relatively poor. Hence my not buying any of your gorgeous shawls, haha.

Lastly, about the loneliness: generally, I think I'm not. I'm just alone a lot of the time, and sometimes I think that maybe this is a symptom of an issue I haven't noticed or fully worked out, or sometimes I just feel guilty for not seeing or speaking to people often or whatever. But dammit, I am an introvert. I came this way, and I am this way, and I like it. SO THERE, WORLD.; February 23, 2011 1:33 am

(i'm not obsessed with) the darker mind